She doesn’t have a sticker!

For about the last year my week has consisted of taking us to the chiropractor twice a week. At first it was just Caroline, then we added Hannah, and in a surprise move to us all, Rachel decided to go. After the first of the year we added Sarah and myself. We are blessed with a chiropractor who is a Christian, who is kind, compassionate, and always looking for ways to help us. 

I know we have all had those Murphy’s law types of days and that’s how things were going for me today. Sarah’s shoes were lost, and things just kept happening that caused us to get out of the house 10 minutes later than we needed. Traffic went well and we were only 7 minutes late for our chiropractor appointment. At our chiropractor’s office that isn’t really a problem because it all evens out because of how he sees patients. He has a system reminiscent of an ice cream parlor. When you walk in the door you sign in, then you proceed to the waiting area and take a number and then wait your turn. When it’s your turn you go into the cubicle that has no door and he adjusts you. Afterwards you go and stand on a vibrating table thingy (I still don’t know it’s proper name) and then you’re done. Since this February the girls (Hannah, Rachel, and Caroline) have also been doing a Light and Sound therapy after their adjustments which takes about 20 minutes. So in all we are usually there from 1 hour to an hour and a half. 

That’s how things go on a good day. Today was not a good day. When we walk in the door the office manager informs me that we aren’t on the books for today. This puzzles me because just last week I set up repeating appointments so that I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Apparently either the guy who set it up or the program has a glitch. We go ahead and get our number (we take one number for all of us because he sees us as a group and that’s what he told us to do) and take a seat. Mr. Murphy is visiting the chiropractor today as well. He has 2 of 4 employees out and is also covering for his partner who is out of town. Needless to say, things are taking a little longer than normal.

When it’s our turn we do what we always do and pile into the cubicle sans Rachel. She stays in her wheelchair right outside the doorway. If you are unaware, Rachel has had to use a wheelchair exclusively since February. Sarah pops up on the table first, always eager to get her adjustment. Then Caroline goes. In the last few months she has multiple sublexations and partial dislocations that he has to work on. Monday she had 9 ribs out. He works on her and she goes off to Light and Sound. Next it’s Rachel’s turn and I wheel her into the cubicle. She talks to him about what’s going on and then gets on the table. When she’s done getting an adjustment I wheel her back out and she waits nearby so that when I’m finished I can take her to Light and Sound. She has injured her left shoulder and has a possible torn rotator cuff which makes using her wheelchair difficult. 

While I’m laying on the table and he is adjusting my back I hear someone being very loud saying, “It’s none of your business!!” repeatedly. A look of confusion goes across my face and he tells me not to worry about it that he’s happy Caroline is angry with this man. I’m at a total loss. Thoughts are flying through my head and I can’t understand who she would be this angry at (I’ve never heard her this angry) and why. As I sit up so he can do another adjustment he tells me that a man said something about Rachel. Then it becomes clear. You can say anything to Caroline, but don’t mess with the girl’s family! 

By the time I get out of the cubicle Caroline is in the bathroom upset. Since the bathroom door is in the waiting room I restrain myself from knocking on the door to see if she’s OK. Instead I went to the desk to fix the appointment issue. When Caroline came out she looked as if she was ready to cry. I talked to her and got the rundown of what had happened. She had gone into the soundproof room for Light and Sound but her headphone battery was dead, so she came to the desk for another one. While waiting for the office manager to finish up with another patient she overheard this man and woman talking quite loudly (they were about 15 feet from her and about 10 from Rachel). At first they were complaining about how we only had one number. We aren’t worried about that because we’re only doing what the doctor told us. But then they moved onto Rachel. The man started saying that we didn’t have a handicap sticker on our van  (has he been stalking us or something?) and there were proper procedures to go through and since we didn’t have a sticker on our van, Rachel wasn’t really disabled and shouldn’t have a wheelchair. Because ya know, you aren’t disabled unless you have a sticker. Yes, he seriously said that loud enough for everyone there to hear it. The doctor told me he was happy that Caroline was giving him a piece of her mind because he does/says this type of thing to patients all of the time. 

After I talked to Caroline about what had happened I went over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder and asked to speak to him. Now at this point I didn’t know he had actually put his hands on her during their conversation. Apparently he thought he was playing “Little Bunny Foo Foo” and bopped her on the head. Not cool. Like I said, I didn’t know about this then; she was too upset and didn’t think to tell me. I’m calling that God’s providence! He lies repeatedly about what he said, changing his story every time. I tell him he owes my daughter an apology and he gives the best non-apology apology I’ve heard in a long time. He then tries to touch her again, and she promptly knocks his hand away and tells him not to touch her. After this we leave and go home. Rachel and Caroline were so stressed they couldn’t even do their Light and Sound treatment.

I don’t know about you, but when I see someone in a wheelchair the first thing I think about usually isn’t whether or not they have a sticker on their van. I don’t ask them to prove their disability to me. I don’t question whether or not I think they are disabled enough to have a sticker on their van. But apparently many people have nothing better to do than challenge people on their disability or hidden illness. I have a friend who has a sticker and has Lyme disease. Someone keyed her van for parking in a handicapped spot, with a sticker. We don’t have a sticker- yet. But we also don’t park in handicapped slots. Sometimes this causes us problems like trying to get Rachel back in the van because a car is parked too close to us. That’s not their fault, I don’t get angry at them, we just work out a solution so we can get her back in the van. 

I want to be clear that we don’t think confronting people is the right thing to do all of the time. But there are times it is necessary, this was one of those times. People act as if anger is always wrong, but it isn’t. Scripture says, “Be angry and sin not.” Eph 4:26 There are certain things we need to be angry about and bullying someone is one of those things. 

I know this is long, and thank you for sticking with me. There are so many crazy things happening in this world today. They are all really just a symptom of a lost and dying world. In our family we have a #1 rule- and it’s pretty simple- “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That covers just about everything. Instead of judging whether that person is disabled enough, stop and think about the hidden things you may not see. There are a myriad of hidden illness out there. Show the same love, compassion, and empathy you would want someone to show you. And to quote another Bible verse, “encourage one another and build each other up”! I don’t think we can go wrong in doing either of these.